We avoid temptations, including infidelity, drugs, gambling, pornography, and mismanaging the wealth we’ve been entrusted with.
The temptation is always going to be out there. This is a subject that really fascinates me because these things really consume some people. To the point of destroying their lives and they just can’t fight it. I’ve spoken to alcoholics about that addiction and it’s really interesting to hear them describe the almost desperate need for the fix. Plenty of people can overcome those addictions and there are numerous groups dedicated to helping and supporting addicts, but step one for a dad, especially for a dad to teach his kids, is just avoid these things altogether. If you don’t tow the line of temptation and addiction you’re less likely to screw up. Stay away and you’re golden. You can’t get addicted to drugs if you are never near them.
I want to know what starts an addiction, what drives it, and how to fix it. It would be great to have information like that to keep addiction from ever taking root on our family in the future. I think our family has been lucky, in the sense that I don’t know of any that have a real serious issue with addiction and that’s super great, but we all know someone who is an alcoholic, or gambling addict, addicted to porn, or even addicted to shopping!
It’s a tough subject because many of these aren’t illegal. Obviously, drugs are, but the rest… It’s easily accessible and widely acceptable. But there’s a fine line that can be crossed between drinking socially and alcoholism. From gambling for fun vs gambling with a problem. Porn, I feel like is wrong morally with any volume, but surely there are people with acceptable uses of porn vs addicts who can’t go without it. Shopping like normal people vs shopping as an answer to cravings are two totally separate things.
So stay away from drugs. Don’t gamble if you can’t play it as a game. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you are alone with another woman or in a situation where you can create a relationship with another woman. Avoid triggers to these things.
So to my boys,
Porn: Stay away completely. It’s the fastest growing addiction in America. I’ve seen it and man it throws some serious chemicals in your brain. Let’s get real guys here. Once you’ve seen one pair of boobs…. well you just kind of want to see them all. Save that part of your life for your wife. Let her know and show her that she is enough for you. You don’t need other women to enhance or improve that very personal part of your life.
Gambling: I really don’t have much of a problem with gambling if the gambling is pure as a game. As an entertainment vessel. It’s super important to set a hard-firm budget and 100% stick to it. Under every circumstance. And whatever amount you spend is simply a cost of admission. Like going to a theme park. You have no care if you lose it all. If you win great, but if you lose every penny, then you had fun. Anything else I think I dangerous. My problem with gambling is it is the second fastest growing addiction in America and it destroys so many families. If you can’t set a firm budget, stick to it, and be 100% happy if you lose every penny, then gambling becomes a much riskier proposition. I like winning, but I hate losing control more. I’d rather lose on my terms than risk my future with an industry built to beat you.
Drugs: Boys if you do drugs, I will beat you to a pulp. I realize I’m in the minority here. Marijuana use is on the rise and I even have some close friends that love the stuff. I just have never done drugs and frankly, have never had the desire. I have had plenty of opportunities. It just didn’t look like a fun path to travel. I kind of took the approach that pretty much every person in prison used or uses drugs. It’s a common trait for slums, low lives, and criminals. So I really didn’t want to do what they were doing. And while there are some really good athletes that are users and I’m sure there are some corporate executives that are users, it certainly appears like more of an outlier in those circles. So, I wanted to go down a path that seemed like it produced a better life. I’m staying away from it. My boys better stay away from it. I think a good dad that wants to be a role model should stay away from it. Most drugs are illegal unless you’re prescribed them. So possession and/or use is just showing your kids that they should not obey the law and that you are above the law. That will have consequences.
I may have to come back to this once marijuana is legal. Because that’s just a matter of time, I think. That will take away the fact that it’s illegal. But there still a lot associated with it that I don’t find appealing. But once it’s legal it’s going to be treated more like alcohol. It can still ruin your life. A lot of people will use it. You do what’s best for you and your family. You do what fits into your beliefs.
Drinking: I’m a social drinker. I may drink at an event. Occasionally at home with friends or my wife. I have never been a daily drinker. It just doesn’t make me feel all that great. Especially if I consume a bit too much at a party. The next day sucks and I end up going sober for the next six weeks. I like the flavors of scotch, bourbon, and whiskey. Vodka, rum, and tequila are only to be consumed in the event of a personal challenge. Beer is good. Most beer is good. I don’t care if you drink. I care if you can’t stop drinking. I care if you become dependent on drinking. I care if you have to drink. Alcohol is a depressant. It is a drug. Just be smart and don’t overdo it. It’s 2019 so grab a ride-share and don’t drive a vehicle during or after drinking.
I can’t even comment about shopping as an addiction. I have literally never met anyone who had this issue. I don’t understand it, I just know it exists. With any addiction people are probably bringing it up to you. SO get help. And of course, the best way to avoid addiction is to stay away from it to begin with!!
I’d rather be called a square than see my life crumble to addiction.
Infidelity: If you cheat on your spouse, breaking one of the 10-freaking-commandments, things are not going to go well for you. I promise that. So, let’s prevent this from ever becoming an issue by taking some very basic steps. Step 1. Keep it in your pants. Step 2. Don’t put yourself in a position where a relationship could be formed or even a rumor could be started. If you take that mentality that’s going to help keep you from being tempted.
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I’m Townsend Russell with 100% Dad – The Dad Group
Were preaching over here for Dads to step up, be real men, and real leaders of their homes.