HERE IS HOW YOU MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE

HERE IS HOW YOU MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE

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HERE IS HOW YOU MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE

 

I’ve got something for you. What if I told you I could effectively and systematically make the world a better place?

If I was a good politician, I would go on a billion-dollar campaign around America. Selling out my integrity for votes and dollars. Giving you vague bullet points that sound amazing. Then when I got elected, I would do absolutely nothing. Because that’s what winning politicians do.

But I’m not a politician. I can prove it. Feel my skin. No slime. Instead, I’m taking my own money and going on the 100% Dad Tour all around America, not for votes, not for dollars but simply to say this:

I know how to dramatically reduce crime in your community.
I know how to reduce poverty in your community by at least 50%. Cut it in half.
I can reduce the burden on the welfare system.
I can reduce teenage pregnancy by 75%
I can make drastic reductions in suicide rates, mental heath issues & substance abuse.
I can decrease the taxes you pay because police and jails are not as busy and our welfare programs are less needed, and healthcare systems are not as burdened. Simply put I will put more money in your pocket.

That’s just one side of the coin. I can bring things up too.

I can increase the number of volunteers in your community.
I can increase the amount of charitable giving right in your backyard!
I can improve the average income in your neighborhood.
I can improve school attendance, graduation rates, and grades!
I can send more kids to college in your neighborhood.
I can improve the average home values and community engagement.

I am not a politician. I am not asking for your vote. I am not lying to you to get in office.

How do we do this? Easy. One thing will fix all of this. Improves communities, release pressure off prison systems, relieves pressure on law enforcement, helps the country focus our vast resources on improving families, individuals, healthcare, debt, financial struggles, addictions.

Every study out there for decades comes to the same conclusion. All the above comes true when dads are present in the home. When dad is out of the home all those stats go bad. They go bad hard and fast.

The real question becomes, How? How do we get dads to stay in the family at home?

We need to dig into why they are leaving. I wrote a great blog about this called

The 6 things that crushed dads in the last 50 years

Here is how we fix it:

1.) Talk up being a good dad.

This is why 100% Dad exists. To promote strong fatherhood. To encourage Dads. To provide wisdom for Dads.  To foster the conversation that needs to be held at every level. Dad is a key component of the world becoming a better place. He is that important. The hard work is now, breaking the cycle. Then it becomes multigenerational and in another 50 years, it is just the status quo.

It needs to be said aloud to boys how important it is for them to be good dads. To be committed to their wives and their families. To be good men in general.

It needs to be said to girls that good dads exist, and they shouldn’t settle for a boy that will abandon her.

It needs to be said to single men how important they are to the next generation and how their presence has a major impact on everything.

It needs to be said to single women that raising a family with a good man is winning and they shouldn’t have to do it alone.

It needs to be said to the struggling Dads that are wondering if it is worth it that they are the key.

It needs to be said to struggling moms that the family unit is important and its breaking up the family is detrimental to the kids.

And we need to commend and congratulate the dads and moms that are doing it.

 

2.) Stop portraying Dads as idiots.

 

It would certainly help if some dads stopped playing into the stereotype. But it’s decades of influence that have shaped the dads that are acting this way. They don’t know better. They think it’s cool and funny to be the family punchline.

They pride themselves on knowing all the details on their favorite sports teams while barely knowing their kid’s interests or social circles. It’s time for men, women, other dads, granddads to call these dads out. Ask them more questions about their sons, daughters, and wives than we do about the game or the most recent trade.

Real honesty is there is not much we can control about how entertainment and media portray dads. But if they feel the shift in mentality amongst the population maybe they will write a better narrative for dads.

3.) Dads need to be motivated to improve

 

Men are usually pretty driven individually and care about their image. So, when we call them our for being disengaged and disinterested it may compel them to become better dads.

Men, in general, like to hone their skills or even learn new skills. Whether it’s a hobby, career, or task that needs to be done. We must harness that desire and improve our dad skills. Constantly learn how we can be better. Complacency loses. Active improvement wins. Something 100% Dad is beginning to foster. But there are plenty of resources out there. Free and paid. Take advantage of them. Tell your friends about them. Don’t be shy…improving as a dad is not a modest thing. It’s something we should all do and we should all encourage others to do it as well.

 

4.) Allow masculinity to return.

 

Years of bashing masculinity has led to a retreat of dads to the safety of being quiet and doing nothing. There is a beginning to the resurgence and I for one am all for it. Men should be allowed to seek adventure, take on challenges, conquer new thing, explore the wilderness, among other things. Chivalry should be allowed to return without criticism.

It’s okay for testosterone to exist. I’m not for unchecked testosterone because let’s face it. We would try to fight everyone and take over the world. Civility is needed, kindness and compassion are needed, humbleness is required.  But go out and do what you like that feeds the raw man part of you. And if you have kids. Take them with you! Hunting, fishing, camping, hiking, exercise, outdoor anything…. go have a blast.

The part of this new masculinity I don’t get is all the hair care and dressing dope. I mean I get it you look good and all. But the testosterone-fueled man part of me is not sitting in front of the mirror oiling my beard. (Slight knock on ya’ll, it’s all good, I have zero style, so I’m not even allowed to speak about it)

5.) Encourage Marriages to succeed.

 

When it comes down to it, we have given up on marriages. The popular stat is 50% of marriages end in divorce. A great read by Shaunti Feldhahn suggests that those are all made-up stats and that the real number is closer to 35% of marriages that end in divorce. Either way, there is almost an expectation of getting divorced. It’s normal no big deal, now I get to try again with someone new. While mom and dad have the possibility of a new lease on life, they have shattered their children’s world and wreaked havoc on their trajectory.

6.) Encourage men and women to be married before having kids.

Solves a lot of problems caused by having kids out of wedlock. Co-parenting is a cool new term. But actual parenting is way more effective. This is something that should be said loud and clear. Splitting kids between households (in the best scenarios) is not as effective as raising kids with mom and dad in 1 household.

 

7.) Tax credit for marriage counseling.

 

Men are hard to get into counseling. Want to motivate them. Tax Credit. Do you mean the government will pay for my marriage counseling?? Sure, I’ll go. And they will go earlier instead of waiting till it’s too late. Take the “it’s a waste of money” equation off the table and that will help turn the tides. That credit should be available every year so even happy couples can use it and take advantage of keeping their marriage strong.

For those thinking this is a waste, it’s not. I am ultra-conservative when it comes to government wasting money. They waste a ton of it. Strong marriages and complete families, as stated above, have massive economic benefits to the country and ease the burden of the government to provide and care for so many.

And just like talking about being a good dad let’s make it normal to talk about marriage counseling. What worked and what didn’t work. How we improved our communication. How we got on the same page again. How we were drifting apart but rekindled. Have those conversations!!! It can save someone else’s relationship.

 

 

8.) Tax code that incentives families and encourages people to get off welfare.

 

No doubt the government financially encourages lower-income families to split apart or never get married in the first place. We must find a way financially encourage families to stay together in the tax code because it benefits the country. And we are currently doing the opposite by paying families to be broken. In fact, the more broken the more we give you. The government has wrongly tried to replace the father by only offering financial assistance and in the wake of those codes has left a trail of destruction. Any politician who served in the last 5 decades should be ashamed. We need to encourage the family unit not, rip it apart. We need people to take care of themselves not become more and more dependent. Dads are forced out or never given a chance because of a short-term gain and everyone loses long-term.

 

9.) Massive overhaul of courts and laws

 

Custody and child support need a massive overhaul. Dads need to be heavily involved with custody. 50/50 should be the new norm. States need to stop overcharging dads to get more federal dollars.  Judges should be ruling for the family not for moms alone. Laws should keep in mind the importance of dads’ involvement.

 

10.) Parents rethink education for their kids.

 

I’m disappointed in public education. It has nothing to do with how much we spend because our country is one of the top spenders on education in the world. And yet we rank in the middle of the pack. There is a strong argument that America has dominated on the world stage despite its education system.  Our family has done everything we could to avoid the public education route.

 

The schools can not figure out how to keep the fast learners engaged and challenged. They cannot make productive use of the day resulting on mind-boggling hours of doing nothing. And in the efforts to leave no one behind the pace of education has reached the speed of flowing molasses. And everyone thinks chucking more money at the problem will fix it. It has never fixed it.

The school has become one of the biggest influencers in your kids’ lives and you have little to no say or even knowledge of what going on between those walls. These schools take a ton of time away from the family (and waste that time doing nothing). Private schools certainly have an advantage in delivering a strong education and pushing students to excel. But they cost a lot and still consume a lot of time. We did that for a short bit. Homeschool was what worked best for us. We knock it out in mere hours and go play at the beach. Granted that means 1 parent is staying home not working. But as we had our own business, we had the freedom to adjust schedules to fit our lifestyle.

11.) Workplace changes

 

I love work. I am probably a work adict. In fact, it is the middle of the night as I type this. Kids in bed. Wife in bed. Dad is working. Could be sleeping. But I am typing away. Small business faded over a few decades, but it has been making a comeback. There are endless opportunities and different ways to make an income. Dads have been struggling to be present because work takes up so much of their lives. Commutes are abhorrent. There are couple of things for dads to think about here.

  • Commutes are never worth it for me long term. I’m moving, transferring, or getting another job. I don’t want to spend that much time in transport and away from my family.
  • Work is important. I’m not against working hard for short periods of time. But you do not want to work hard for 20 years look up and have plenty of money and screwed up kids.
  • It’s okay to take your foot off the gas from time to time and prioritize your family.
  • I’m also okay with working hard for short periods of time when you need to do that. Just make sure the big picture is about your family.
  • A career change to make the family happier is almost always a win.
  • I would love to see more companies allowing families to visit. Mesh the 2 instead of forbidding it.

 

12.) Teach financial common sense.

 

The leading cause in divorce is money problems. The leading cause of tearing families up is money fight. Money. That’s it. Fix money and you fix a ton of marriages. Let me teach you a secret.

Money is easy.
The money you make that’s your income. Try and make that number go up. But even if you struggle with that.

Spend way less than you make. It is that easy. Spend less. Stop trying to live a life that is not yours. Stop buying stupid stuff. And never ever buy anything on payments. Ever. In fact, when people offer to let you make payments it should be an insult. They just asked if they could make you poor and divorced.

When you have no payments and live on much less than you make you will have extra cash. Now build that up to a nice pile and call it an emergency fund. Never touch it. That money just sits in the bank and takes all the stress and pressure in the world and makes it go away.

Then you keep saving. And do the things you want. Start a business. Buy things you can actually afford now. Make investments. Save even bigger piles of cash. Do not get greedy. Do not jump at getting rich quick stuff. It’s not your game.

Let us not overcomplicate things. Most people getting divorced because of money had way too much debt. They bought stuff they could not afford. They spent more than they made. They lived a life that was not theirs and it cost them the marriage.

 

So there we go. 12 things we can do that will absolutely make the world a better place. And it all centers around us uniting and agreeing that all the studies are correct and dads are incredibly important and have massive impacts on the life of their kids.

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