Dads, create a home. A nice, safe, warm, loving, comfortable home filled with love, pride, and discipline.
Dads come from all sorts of backgrounds. Bad homes, no homes, great homes, okay homes. Each has his own perspective on what he liked and did not like about his past. Some way or another he has created an ideal future and ideal home in his mind. Hopefully, he married a girl that shared that vision. Hopefully, he has made choices to fulfill that dream.
I don’t think I have ever met a dad who wanted to create a “bad” home, but I have met dads who certainly are not trying to create a good home. They are letting the chips fall where they fall. That’s just the hand they were dealt, or for some reason they stop caring, get selfish, and start caring more about themselves than their family.
As dads, we don’t have the luxury to be so selfish anymore. We have responsibilities. Creating a good home with mom is one of those priorities. These descriptions and terms mean different things to different dads. A comfortable house for some is a trailer and for others, it’s a castle. How much money you spend has little bearing on the home that just affects the house. A modest house can be a great home or a terrible home. A mega-mansion can be a great home or an awful home. My point is that home is the atmosphere you create within.
Every kid should have somewhere safe to lay their head. I am not even talking about the socioeconomics of the neighborhood. I’m talking about who you let in the door and how you maintain the house. Creeps and sketchy people have no place in a house with a child. What kid could feel safe with creeps and weirdos allowed in their homes. The general function of the house should be safety. You’re a dad. If there’s a hole, cover it. If there are exposed wires, fix them. This isn’t expensive stuff. It’s just stuff you have to do. If the lock is broken, fix it. If you have pest issues, kill the pests. Dad, you are Mr. Fix It whether you like it or not. Kids and moms look to you, so either google it or hire someone, but this is your job! Provide a safe home.
A home should be warm, loving, and comfortable. Did you set the tone? If you’re a scum bag that stumbles in under the influence you have immediately made everyone uncomfortable. If you are a dad that picks up and hugs his kids and wife when you walk in the door you have immediately made everyone comfortable. You have made them feel loved. If you ask them all how their day has been and actually listen and engage in the conversation everyone in the home will have a warm cozy feeling. Again this atmosphere can be created in any house, in any neighborhood. Dad, you can set the tone. Work with mom to create and keep this atmosphere.
A home should be filled with unconditional love. Mom should know with zero doubt that dad loves her. The kids should know without a doubt that dad loves mom. The kids should know dad loves them too. When that is unknown the home is less stable. My goal in my home has always been to have a very stable home.
Now, don’t confuse a nice, loving home for a home with no consequences, rules, or discipline. I’m not painting a picture of a hippie commune. I’m painting a picture of a family home. Families are not perfect all the time. Believe it or not— kids don’t always listen, do what you say, or tell the truth. They might be little angels, but please remember Lucifer himself was an angel. Those little devils get disciplined when they do wrong. There are consequences for your actions. For example, we have bedtime and bedtime chores and I don’t care if you want to do them or not. A happy home isn’t a Pleasantville script 100% of the time. Any home that doesn’t ever have a kid screaming that something is not fair is doing something wrong. Mom and dad control the home. They are the dictators. They are making decisions for the best of the family with long term goals in mind. They are raising competent young adults that will be intelligent, strong in character, and fully functional in the world. That means making them eat foods they don’t want to eat and telling them “no” often. Lots of “no” make kids appreciate the “yes”.
A family should have pride for itself, one another, and the family name in general. It’s great when families cheer for each other instead of tearing each other apart. It’s nice when a family can share the sadness of individual defeat and exhilaration of individual victory. How impressive is it to see a family that honors and respects the family name. How each individually represents the family as a whole in the way they carry themselves and the way they treat others. That starts at home. That starts with dad. Teaching, talking, listening, caring, loving, and showing how to represent the family. Build a home. Build a stable home. That home can move into any house anywhere in the world. Any shack or any mansion. Home is the atmosphere you create inside.
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I’m Townsend Russell with 100% Dad – The Dad Group
Were preaching over here for Dads to step up, be real men, and real leaders of their homes.